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Written By Jen

I am feeling a little down this week.  Tired, sick, my hubby was out of town, and I am catching some heat.  You know, one of those weeks:)

I heard a story recently of a man who got in a fight about how to stack wood on a trailer with his father and has refused to speak to him ever since.  The son has not let his children and his parents enjoy their loving relationship, even though they live in the same town.  I was saddened and decided to pray that God would humble this man, in hopes his relationships would be restored.  I have been.  God humbles the proud.

In the meantime, guess who God is humbling?  Yep, he is humbling me.  I am thankful because the Bible says in Psalm 25:9 “He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.”  The humbling process is painful for me.  I guess if it is hurting me to be humbled, it is a sign I was becoming increasingly arrogant.  Sadly, you may not be surprised.

I have a LONG list of things, just this week, that have happened (so far) that bummed me out, and God is using them to show me sin in my life that needs work.  I am only going to discuss one thing from the long list today, but it includes mocking, ridiculing, scoffing, slandering, honest rebuking and encouragement.  All of these from different sources, all of them have been brought to my attention.  Ouch.  It is clear to me the Lord is humbling me.

First, I shared a personal concern in confidence, and honestly felt a little vulnerable about it.   In turn, someone turned it around on me, and has been poking fun and calling me names about it to others.  If my kids told me someone was calling them a name I would say, “You are defined by God not men.  Let it go.”  This is true and good for me too, but it’s bugging me.  My junior high responses that ran through my mind was to: 1. Confront 2. Tattle 3. Be silent 4. Avoid 5. Quit sharing 6. Do it right back.  I knew these were not right or good in this case.  I needed a little help on responding appropriately and maturely.

Here is what I did.  My initial response was to be bothered.  Second, I asked my husband and an honest friend if they see this character trait (name I was called) in my life.  I asked them what it looked like in me? How they thought I could work on it?  Next, I asked God about it.  Lord is this true of me?  Lord what should I do about this somebody?  The truth is I could not confront this person because I knew I have said worse, much worse.  God was using this to convict me of times I am a “name caller”.  God was using this to humble me, to challenge me and to force me to desire to change and grow.  He was showing me the big deal is not what was done to me, but what actually I have done.  Humbling hurts.  The fourth thing I did was use it as a lesson for my kids.  When I sat down at dinner with them I shared with them I was a little sad because a somebody called me a name.  They wanted to know who and what.  I did not say and I think this made the point more clear.  I challenged them, “Lets not call names.”  We all need to work on it.  Of course they agreed and then found plenty of examples, “You mean like dummy, stupid, long nose…”  ”Yes.” I said as my husband piped in, “That’s enough examples.”  I can hear conversations running through my mind that include this phrase, “She is so ___”,  ”He is such a ____”.  Even as adults we get bothered and rubbed wrong by people around us.  Of course we do.  None of us are perfect.  When you put a bunch of imperfect people together it can get messy.

I am finding God is asking me to stop judging.  It is gong to take some work and probably many more embarrassing moments to humble this girl.  The closer a ‘somebody’ is to us, the more it hurts when we war.  I am sad that a relationship can digress to mud slinging, name-calling; the Bible has this really big word for it, slandering.  Slandering is to take down the reputation of another.

I do not want to be that kind of a somebody.  God is showing me I can be.  I kept asking the Lord, “What do I do?”  Knowing the junior high responses of 1-6 was not a good plan.  His answer for me was in Psalm 51.  Jen, I want you to stop rebelling against me.  I have 2 things I want you to do, REPENT (about face and end this behavior in your life) and FORGIVE (because I have forgiven you of MUCH so you too must forgive).  That’s it.

I know that is what the gospel is all about, forgiveness and repentance, but I have found this new freedom in it.  God is using life to humble me and draw me near to him.  Humility hand in hand with repentance, forgiveness and an everlasting love, is GOOD.  The next conversation I had with God went like this, “Lord you are right, I slander people, I call them names and I judge them harshly.  Please forgive me.  I do not want to do this any more.  Help me to change.  Rewrite my heart and my mind.  Make it more like yours. Thank you that your love for me endures forever. Thank you for washing me white as snow. Thank you for the amazing love of Jesus dying on a cross for my sins.  I need you. Amen.”

When someone slanders us it can make us bitter or we can take it to the feet of God and let him use it to humble us and lead us to repentance, forgiveness, his mercy, his grace, his love, he will clean us up, hold us, wipe our tears and rain down HIS love for us.

Maybe it’s just what I needed.

A FEW NOTES:

REPENT :

Luke 5:32 “I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

2 Corinthians 7:10 “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”

Romans 2:3-5 “Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?”

FORGIVE:

Mark 11:25 ”And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Psalm 51 from The Message (I am so thankful for God’s Word. Drink it up!)

^1-3Generous in love—God, give grace! Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record.
Scrub away my guilt,
soak out my sins in your laundry.
I know how bad I’ve been;
my sins are staring me down.

^4-6 You’re the One I’ve violated, and you’ve seen
it all, seen the full extent of my evil.
You have all the facts before you;
whatever you decide about me is fair.
I’ve been out of step with you for a long time,
in the wrong since before I was born.
What you’re after is truth from the inside out.
Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.

^7-15 Soak me in your laundry and I’ll come out clean,
scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life.
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
set these once-broken bones to dancing.
Don’t look too close for blemishes,
give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me,
shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Don’t throw me out with the trash,
or fail to breathe holiness in me.
Bring me back from gray exile,
put a fresh wind in my sails!
Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
so the lost can find their way home.
Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,
and I’ll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.
Unbutton my lips, dear God;
I’ll let loose with your praise.

^16-17 Going through the motions doesn’t please you,
a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship
when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.

^18-19 Make Zion the place you delight in,
repair Jerusalem’s broken-down walls.
Then you’ll get real worship from us,
acts of worship small and large,
Including all the bulls
they can heave onto your altar!